Retirement Transition is Tough! – Retire by 40

Hey everyone! It’s been 2 months since Mrs. RB40 retired from her career. Unfortunately, she is having a tough transition into early retirement. This is a typical experience for many early retirees. Most people don’t like changes, and retirement is a big one. Today, I bring you the view from the front row of the spousal early retirement show.  

Loss of identity

The biggest problem with early retirement is the loss of identity. One day, you’re an expert in your field. The next day, you’re a nobody lounging around in your PJs at home. It’s a big loss, and you need to adapt. Mrs. RB40 liked her job and didn’t really want to retire. She left because of a significant change in her organization. She felt useful and fulfilled at work. Now, she is rudderless.

Unfortunately, her retirement was somewhat sudden, and she didn’t have a chance to prepare for the loss of her professional identity. When I retired from my engineering career, I had a couple of things lined up. This blog and a baby were waiting for me. I embraced my new role as a SAHD/blogger and never looked back. On the other hand, Mrs. RB40 didn’t have a chance to prepare, and the loss of identity is hitting her hard.

Keeping busy

I shared the secret to a happy retirement a while ago. You have to keep busy. If you have too much idle time, you’ll get bored and depressed. Now, I see that’s not the whole story. Staying busy isn’t enough. Mrs. RB40 has been very busy since she retired. She spent a ton of time in the garden, caught up on her hobbies, went to RB40Jr’s events, cooked, cleaned, rearranged the furniture, and more. However, I don’t think these are meaningful enough for her. IMO, she is busy, but she isn’t fulfilled. She probably needs to find a big purposeful project to dive into.

Financial fears

Mrs. RB40 is a frugal person, but she occasionally enjoys spending money. When she was working, she felt good about buying a new purse or going out to eat. Now that she doesn’t earn income, she feels guilty about spending on nonessential goods and services. It’s a big psychological change from making money to spending down your savings.

That’s probably why I’m still trying to make money with this blog and delivery side hustle. My earned income is inconsequential, aka beer money. Well, I don’t drink beer anymore, but I just spent $65 on a LEGO set. My ceramic class also costs about $150/month. I can use my side hustle income on fun stuff, and I don’t feel guilty about it.

This year, we also have some big bills coming up. We’re remodeling our kitchen, and RB40Jr’s Cochlear Implant surgery bill is hanging over our head. (We are appealing the insurance denial, but it doesn’t look good.) Mrs. RB40 is stressed out about these big expenses. I don’t think it’ll be a huge issue because we have enough liquidity.

Normally, we spend less than 3% of our net worth annually. I tell Mrs. RB40 we’ll be fine in the long term, but she is a little stressed out. She doesn’t trust the 4% rule.  

Early retirement can be depressing

After 2 months of early retirement, Mrs. RB40 is undecided about how she feels. She enjoys having more personal time, but she is also a little depressed. She no longer has to deal with office politics, but she misses the personal interaction. The transition into retirement has positives and negatives. Early retirement isn’t a good fit for everyone. For most normal people, I think it’s better to work in a job that you like. But that’s hard to come by these days.

Mrs. RB40 is still getting used to retirement. She’ll take the rest of this year off, then figure out what to do next year. If she is still restless, she’ll probably look for a side job or something. Check back next year to see what she’ll do next. 😉

Image by the AI overlord, killer of blogs and destroyer of jobs everywhere. I bow down before your might.

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Joe started Retire by 40 in 2010 to figure out how to retire early. After 16 years of investing and saving, he achieved financial independence and retired at 38.

Passive income is the key to early retirement. This year, Joe is investing in commercial real estate with CrowdStreet. They have many projects across the USA so check them out!

Joe also highly recommends Personal Capital for DIY investors. They have many useful tools that will help you reach financial independence.