How We Built a More Spendful Life

We built our dream house by accident.

Or at least, that’s how it felt at first. My husband had gotten a new job in a new city, and our house-hunting came up empty handed. Then we stumbled upon a small lot for sale, right on a beautiful lake, facing the sunset, brimming with potential. 

Building wasn’t part of the plan—goodness no. I was seven months pregnant and just wanted to nest. But this lot sparked a vision, one we had dreamed up long ago, and suddenly, this was a path to get there.

They broke ground the same day we were in the hospital having our first baby. The next day, still in the hospital, we got our first costly curveball: the lot needed an expensive modification to stabilize the foundation.

There we were—brand new parents, staring down a very expensive, still-empty lot, living in a rental in a new city. Oh, and waiting for us at home? A six-month-old puppy and a senior dog, just to top off the utter chaos. WHAT WERE WE DOING?!

While it appeared (and felt) like this was all just accidental chaos with a high price tag, the more I thought about it, I realized it wasn’t accidental at all (wait, we CHOSE this chaos?). Behind what seemed like knee-jerk decisions and enormous expenses, I had to remind myself there was actually some very slow-cooked, extra marinated intentionality that was years in the making. 

I won’t pretend that the year of building, adjusting, and navigating all the new, new, new was easy. No—I nearly lost my mind. But now, the dust has settled. And it’s wonderful.

Now, the lot is a beautiful home. The newborn is now a babbling, sparkly eyed one-year old. The chaotic puppy is now a leggy (still somewhat chaotic) snugglebug.

To get here required a lot of dreaming, and a lot of flexibility, and a lot of very intentional dollars. At YNAB, we have a word for that now: spendfulness. 

We dreamed our dreams, and then we put our dollars behind them to build a spendful life that was years in the making. I hope that my story can help you dream your own dreams, and line up your own dollars accordingly.

Let me pause right here and say: we’re not all given the same opportunities, the same incomes, or the same support systems. I feel ridiculously privileged to live on a lake. There’s no other word for it. But even with the best laid plans, life can throw curveballs (big ones). This is simply our story, shared with humility and gratitude, in hopes that some part of it might help you build your life so you can be most alive and vital—whatever that looks like for you.

Dreaming, Eight Years Ago

Eight years ago, before all this hullabaloo, I wrote up this little note on my phone about my dream life:

Live in a lake house on Bear Lake with big open windows and a big kitchen. Raise a family with two kids and a dog. Preferably a Vizsla. Work mostly from home and counsel young people on personal finances.

Now, at the time NONE of this was a reality. We weren’t living remotely close to Bear Lake, we didn’t have nearly the income to support the idea of a house on the water. We didn’t have any kids, nor even the glimmer of one. I was working in an office for a mattress company. In short, I was a long way off from my dream life.

Oh, but we did have a Vizsla. One point for that.

Now, eight years later, that whole note, it kinda came true. Sure, not on that exact lake, but not too far from it. We have those big open windows, and a kitchen I can do a cartwheel in. We have a kiddo, two dogs (both Vizslas, because we are apparently gluttons for chaos). I work from home in the personal finance industry here at YNAB.

Wow. Hit that nail right on the head, right? How did that happen?

I’m still pinching myself after stumbling across that old note on my phone. It came true! A mix of luck, hard work, and a strong dose of intentionality made it happen.

Of course, intention alone doesn’t guarantee an outcome. I know that all too well. The “two-kids-white-picket-fence” dream I thought was in my control? Turns out, it wasn’t. We’ve also had incredible support from family, and some parts of our life have been absolute gifts.

But there were also choices we made—choices that helped turn a far-off dream into reality. And those choices? They can be replicated. No matter your income level or dream destination, these steps can help you build your own version of a spendful life.

Step 1: We Set Ourselves Up to Live Below Our Means

Living below your means comes as a series of choices. It’s often one or two big choices (where you live, what house you buy) followed by thousands of little choices.

For us, those two big choices came one after the other when we were 25 years old. First, my husband got two job offers at the same time: one in Southern California and one in Detroit. How do you decide? Well, the decision was easy for us: we wanted to be able to buy a house. In Southern California, we could’ve afforded a coat closet with zero windows. In Detroit, it meant we could buy a real bonafide house. With a yard. It was barely a discussion—we headed to Detroit.

When house shopping, my dad gave us simple but life-changing advice: ‍

Set your house budget based on one income.
-My ever-wise father

Banks said we could afford nearly half a million dollars, but we set our range from $150K to $299K (yup, Metro Detroit was affordable). This led us to buying a little 1940s lake cottage with a tiny kitchen and an ancient boiler system. But it was ours, and we could afford it comfortably. 

Step 2: We Made the Most of Our Margin

Because we bought less house than the bank said we could, we had margin, that decision created a bigger buffer. There was money left over every single month after the bills, giving, non-monthly expenses, and retirement savings were covered. 

Step 3: We Got Clear About What We Wanted

I was a YNAB user back in 2017. When I wrote down that life dream, I made it a category in YNAB: “Lake House Season Two.”

It felt almost like a joke that we’d ever have that much money, but you have to start somewhere. So we started with $0 in our Wish Farm and built it up little by little.

Step 4: We Kept Our Expenses Steady as Our Income Grew

We were both fortunate to see our careers bloom over the next few years. But instead of inflating our lifestyle, we directed any extra income to our future goals—including that Lake House category.

That margin gave us freedom. It let me jump toward a job opportunity at YNAB, even though it meant repaying a sizable education expense to my previous employer. It covered medical costs when growing our family wasn’t as simple as we’d hoped. It even let us bring home a puppy in a tough season. (Spoiler: puppies will bring equal parts stress and joy, but I digress. Spendfulness nonetheless). 

The Nuts and Bolts

Here’s what that actually looked like in YNAB-speak:

• We set savings on autopilot. We got a month ahead with our money. On the first of each month, before we paid our mortgage, a chunk went straight to a brokerage account labeled “Lake House Season Two.”
• Our priorities were flexible. Sometimes medical costs took priority. We adjusted, knowing our overall direction remained the same.
• We were ready to jump when opportunity knocked. When a job opened up near my hometown, we had the financial breathing room to say, “Let’s go!”
• We kept giving. We’ve both been taught the value of giving, and we kept that a priority as our income grew.

Life is just a series of decisions, and having a solid financial foundation meant we could make them with confidence. But throughout it all, having margin meant having choices. That margin is the room for spendfulness. It’s the room to make sure your money is doing what you want it to do.

And that, well, that feels a lot like freedom. Or actually, it feels a little more like jumping in a lake on a sunny summer day.

Spendfulness has changed millions of lives already—we just didn’t have a word for it until now. Build your version of a spendful life with YNAB. It’s free for 34 days!